It’s been a wonderfully exciting two weeks. Seemingly out of nowhere I have decided to expand my business. And by expand I don’t mean an addition, but more simply, a valid beginning. An office space of my own. See, I’ve been a bit of a traveling esthetician for the past 4 years. I’ve shared space with massage therapists and have worked from home when necessary. Along with my other two jobs and arranging childcare for my three year old, finding the time and physical location to do my own work has been trying, to say the least. My head is often a flurry of memorized appointments, work schedules, on call times, childcare pickup and dropoff times… it goes on and on. I may seem like a calm and gathered individual, but inside my head is a different story.
Amidst the chaos of my schedule, however, there is a great motivation in my life and a whole lot of dreaming big. So when the suggestion came to me recently of renting my own space, it was like a light bulb went off in my head. It’s not that I hadn’t considered the idea before, in fact, it’s really been my goal all along. That’s when I realized that the only thing that’s been stopping me, has been… well, ME. Even several months ago when someone else suggested I get my own office, I agreed, longingly, in the “wouldn’t that be nice” sort of way. Taking my business seriously seemed like a far off dream, something that I surely wasn’t ready for.
Perhaps part of it was circumstantial, but I was also holding on to limiting beliefs. Beliefs that I did not have a large enough clientele, and that I wouldn’t be able to attract new customers. Essentially, the belief that I’m not good enough, brave enough, or ready. I feared failure. The whole idea seemed daunting, scary, and too time consuming to actually pursue. And so I pushed it away.
What I held on to instead was the security of guaranteed income. Which, as a single mother, was probably exactly the right choice for me. I’m a big dreamer but also a big realist. While I love the idea of manifesting big juicy paychecks, sometimes you need a real job while you’re waiting for those to arrive. And so I’ve relied on food service jobs for the past ten years as my primary income. A bit sad, really, that my true passion has to hang out on the back burner while I make “real” money doing something I don’t care much for at all. Why is it so unfathomable that it should be the other way around?
So I’m taking that leap. Yes, it’s scary. But it’s also wildly exciting. It’s something that I have to do, that I owe to myself. I looked at my options. While it’s scary and definitely a risk that I am taking, it could also be a very successful risk. I have the potential to earn more money in much less time, doing what I love. That means more time with my son, more time being outside and enjoying the beauty around me. That means making my own schedule and creating exactly the life I want. To me that’s a risk worth taking.